Monday, January 14, 2008

Proving your worth

I know I shouldn't be worried but everyone has a right to get nervous...

My general manager has NEVER seen me dance- even though I have worked there for nearly a year. So he is coming to see me either tonight or tomorrow night and that will determine whether I get more or less nights per week performing! So- I know I can dance. But what if he doesn't take to me for some reason? Whats the worst that can happen?...........hmmm, they can end my contract I guess (thats already happened with one of the girls- naming no names untl it is official) ......... ok- that hasn't made me any less nervous.

Why is it, that no matter how good you become at something (and I KNOW i am a damn good dancer) that you always doubt yourself??? I am just too Scottish in some ways! (you know- 'who does she think she is... the queen mother?!' and 'dinnie get ahead of yersel' and all those lovely scottish phrases we have to bring people down)

Or maybe its just being in Cairo- where there are sooooo many other factors which seem to be given more weight than your dancing skill (eg chest size, age, who you 'know', etc etc)

Anyway - I am going to dance my socks off tonight (hopefully I will actually remember to remove said socks before I get on the stage though!!!!) and hope you all keep your fingers crossed for me!

oh- and thanks guys- blog subscription not even been available for 24 hours yet and I have 25 subscribers already! (which means you guys should be getting this straight into your email inbox- hope it works!!!)

ok- update.......... i am now home from work (where I DID dance my socks off- I was great! Really- people were up dance with me, audience were singing along with the songs, an all-round fantastic atmosphere!!) BUT of course no-one came to see me (well- the audience was there- but not the manager) so all that stress for nothing. As for coming tomorrow- No work tomorrow- boat is cancelled for the day. So where do I stand now? exactly where I was before. Oh- and the girl I was told wasn't working anymore is still on the rota, which is great for her I guess....

- so really I should just wipe this entire blog entry since it has been such a waste of time- and effort- but I'll leave it- so you can see how things change at the drop of a hat here in Cairo and nothing NOTHING ever goes to plan! since I have started to dance for a living I have NEVER wished for a 9-5pm job again as much as I do at this moment!

scrap that- It has to be dance. Nothing else is worth all this stress!

1 comment:

Kaydee said...

Hey darlin.
When the time comes to "prove yourself," it seems like the perfect recipe for BellyLorna to dance better than EVER! That general manager is gonna KEEL OVER when he sees you dance.
Thanks for leaving your whole train of thought in the blog. I subscribe to you already through Google Reader and follow everything. Love you, Kaydee