Tuesday, December 31, 2013

The end of the year....

What can I say? For me, it's been a hell of a year.

Wonderful things that have happened for me for work: Two month-long UK tours going to many cities I've never been before. Two Mediterranean cruises- dancing my way round the med! Teaching in JoY festival and doing teaching training programs. Performed at numerous venues around Cairo as well as the usual Pharoahs boat, taught in Shanghai for a month and been invited back...

Horrific things that have happened for work: Two 'presidents' in Egypt due to a second 'revolution'. Crippling curfews. Bureaucratic nightmares. Zero tourists.

There have been a few points in the last year where I have severely lost hope. I have had some of my darkest days.

There have been a few points where I have felt ecstatic. I have had some of my brightest moments.

I suspect 2014 will be a continuation of this volatile roller coaster. As a bellydancer in Cairo, nothing ever seems to go along smoothly or as expected. Sometimes for the good, sometimes not. But we keep doing it because those bright moments burn out the darkness.

I have become very good over my many years of living here of being able to predict all the possible outcomes in any situation. Some may just say I have become cynical. My 'cynical' response to that is , "not cynical, just realistic". All to often my worst fears have been realised. It can be very depressing, Sometimes it all seems inevitable, like I'm an actor on stage performing a rewritten drama. A tragedy. Sometimes it feels like fate has already been decreed. That life is over and I have wasted it. These are my darkest days

My brightest days are;
-when I realise I have people around me who love me and believe in me, even when I don't. You know who you are, and I thank you because I would not be here today without you.
-When I see the lightbulbs ignite in my students eyes, that amazing eureka moment.
-When dance explodes in me, from me, a zen moment, flooding my world with emotion and energy. Linking my mind, body and soul with the music and the audience. Time stands still and nothing else matters.

My wishes for 2014 are;

-To be proved wrong more often.
-To be surprised with more good than bad.
-To regain some control over the run away roller coaster that is my life.
-To hang on to and appreciate those friends that have stubbornly stood by me so far.
-To make new friends who help on my downward slides and that I can help on theirs.
-To dance more
-To teach more
-To laugh more
-To thus live and love and be happy more

so goodbye to 2013..... 

..... and be kind to us 2014....

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