Hello and Welcome 2013. I am so very glad you are here.....
What a year that was...........
Major events in my life in 2012;
- Egyptian politics- Having a Muslim Brotherhood president elected
and his constitution passed which makes all of us working in the arts rather
nervous about the future for dance in our beloved Egypt. Not to mention the
negative affect it has had on tourism and therefore the amount of available
work for us dancers here in Cairo.
- Losing my home- My landlady discovered that I dance for a living
and ordered me out my beautiful apartment in Mohandiseen. In doing so, not only
did I lose my home, but also a large part of my livelihood; I had been renting
out the spare rooms to visiting dancers as 'Hotel Bellylorna' and also teaching
in my own private dance studio to supplement my pay from the boat. All that has
gone. The problems at that apartment started two days after Morsi was elected,
I am not saying they were 100% linked, but it does seem fishy doesn't it?
Especially when I had lived there peacefully and happily for 6 years.
-Tax- I haven't talked about this one before, because it is a huge
problem I am still trying to solve, and because it is very upsetting for me. Without
going into the nitty gritty of it all, basically the contracts for all the
dancers at my work say that our employers are responsible for paying our tax...
so all these years working here, we were relaxed in that knowledge. Then, out
the blue, it seems that our employer was not paying it and that in the eyes of
the tax authority the contract means nothing... therefore all of us have
massive backdated tax debts to pay, and I mean Huge. This has affected all the
dancers at my work, Egyptian and foreigners alike. Some dancers left the
country, some paid it, one girl that I know of even fought it in court (and
lost).
In my case, I entrusted someone to look into it for me and see
what could be done. He assured me that he had it under control...he didn’t, but
he was too embarrassed to admit that to me until it was too late. By the time I
found this out a penalty fine had been added onto my tax debt, which literally doubled
the amount I was due to pay. Double!
I have to admit, that with losing my home, having so little work
due to the unrest in the country and then having this massive tax debt over my
head... my thoughts were to run away. Literally. Pack up and not pay the debt
and leave my Egyptian life behind. Wrong I know, and I am embarrassed to admit
it... but I felt so pushed into a corner I really didn’t know what else I could
do. I have no issues paying tax that is due, it is our duty ... but a fine that
is the same amount as the tax on top? When
it wasn't my fault? It is just not fair! I felt sick, I don’t mind telling you.
I planned to leave.... After two years of not much work due to the
unrest in the country, the savings I had prior to that were already used up. When
I left my flat in Mohandiseen in August, planning to spend my last month saying
my goodbyes, I gave away everything I thought I was not going to need in Cairo
during that time, nor be able to take with me to the UK after that.
However, then I cried for an entire month. It wasn’t just the idea
of leaving my life here and returning to the UK, which although I don’t want to
do that yet, has always been my intention eventually, but of being branded a
'criminal' and never again being able to visit my 2nd home, Egypt, not even for
a holiday. I just couldn't do it. Cairo has become part of me, part of my
identity. I became depressed and hysterical whenever I allowed myself to think
about it.
So, I have scrimped, saved and borrowed- and have managed to pay
just over half my tax debt so far (I had to, or they would have had me arrested.
An Egyptian prison is something I never want to experience!)
I am currently living in one room of a friend’s apartment in order
to cut costs. She is lovely, and so is the apartment and it is in an nice
neighbourhood, but I do miss having my own place and being able to invite
dancers to stay too. Can you imagine me living in one room with ALL my costumes
and clothes piled high in boxes around me? It’s chaos.
So, since I have decided to bite that bullet and somehow pay the
debt, I now have to try and get enough work to pay the rest of it... I will be
dancing for the Egyptian tax man for the rest of the year.
So there you have it. My story for this year. Feels strange
putting it in writing after all the stress of keeping it secret for so long. 2012
was a bad year.
That is not to say that good things didn’t happen in it too......
and to save me from wallowing in self pity for the rest of the day... let’s go
through them too.
Thank you for sticking with me thus far and going through this
therapy session with me....!
Good things from 2012;
-Friends. I have such lovely, caring and fun people around me who
stick by me and want the best for me. Even those who dearly wish I would return
to UK to be ‘safer’ or have an ‘easier life’, never push it since they know me and what Egypt means to me! Thank you all; for putting up with my depressed states
and taking charge of things for me when I just couldn’t do it myself. For
offering me places to stay and friendly words and hugs when needed. I am so
lucky and grateful. Without the love I would have lost it.
-Work. I still have it! Despite all the issues in the country with
many venues for dance closing down across Cairo (largely due to financial
reasons not just political/religious reasons), I have just signed yet another
year contract at the Pharoahs and plan to stay for as long as the political
situation allows. I now have a band that I love, who actually get passionate
about the music they make, and are not just ‘jobbing it’. I have danced on TV
in a soap opera shown on every channel over Ramadan and danced at beautiful
weddings in the best of hotels. I have done modelling work and started teaching
a beginner’s class in Maadi with women who remind me how much I have missed
teaching regular classes! Work is good.
-Health. Despite a dodgy back which plays up fairly often since I
slipped a disk in November 2011, I am otherwise fit, although a little fat from
Christmas! Considering the physical nature of my job, I feel lucky that that is
my only health grumble (touch wood).
-UK connections. In 2012 I taught a lot of very successful workshops
and private classes and performed all over the UK. I have made a lot of lovely new
friends in the dance world there. When I went back to the UK for Christmas I
had two shows and five private classes in 6 days! I feel that at least I have a
plan B now if things do get too difficult here in Egypt and am less scared
about the idea that someday I might have to move back. I have been the only
British dance performing in Cairo for the last 7 years... but since I have been
away all that time a lot of dancers new on the scene didn’t know about me yet.
I am happy to be making a name for myself in my home country once more (and
look forward to the workshops I will be teaching in Feb/March this year, in
areas of the country I haven’t yet reached!).
And last but not least;
-Dance. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? Well, this
year has certainly done that to my dance. I am a different person. On stage I
feel I am in control, powerful and on fire. That is terribly un-British I know;
not like me to blow my own trumpet, but I feel it, so I am saying it. I feel
that every show I do I am lucky to be doing it... that it might be my last in
Cairo and that I am sure as hell going to give it all I have got.
If the end is in sight I am going to go down on this ship dancing
with all my soul. Giving everything I have got.
What is more, I am going to allow my audiences the chance to enjoy
the best of Egyptian music and dance as much as they can, while they still can.
This is the point where I get slated by my Egyptian friends who
say, “no, no, don’t worry, things won’t ever change in Egypt”... well, sorry
but here is a news flash for you; it already has. Accept it or fight it, but please
don’t ignore it – the ostrich look is not becoming.
Every show I do invigorates me. I come off stage higher than any
drug could take you. Dance is still my passion that drives me after all these years.
It feels good.
So there you have it. The life of Lorna for the past year....
Happy New Year! Wishing all of you a wonderful 2013. May it be a
year filled with love, good health and happiness. These are the things that
matter.
Follow your passion. It might take you down some rocky roads at
times... but it will always be worth it.