My Worried Wait.............

So, this is a first for me.

I have never been so nervous for the result of an election before. I am exhausted, it’s been a long hot day... but I can’t take my eyes off twitter. Every time an areas vote has been counted they get posted there.

I’ve never been so interested in politic before in my life. Quite frankly, living most my life in UK, I had never really thought there was much of a muchness between parties. Not so in Egypt now.

Here in Egypt we are all holding our breaths, waiting to find out if we will have a Muslim Brotherhood leader- Mursi, or the 'old regime' favourite , Shafiq.

The race does seem very close- although most areas at the moment I am writing this (nearly 3am) seem to be in Mursi's favour.

These past 18 months have seen so much. I have no idea what the future holds. I cannot even begin to imagine... only fear.

Me, along with most people in the country. Both sides in their campaigns used fear tactics against the opposite side to the point that it is really hard to know what truth, if any is, and what the rumours. My Tabal tonight told me not to worry; it is all in God's hands and whatever the outcome it is for the best. At stressful times like these, I guess faith is the main fall back- so if Mursi is to win due to that, then no one can really be surprised.

Whoever crosses that finishing line tomorrow? I am fairly confident that it won’t really be the finish- but only just the starting line.

Whether Egypt becomes with Shafiq an army run country ( with even more powers than it had in Mubarak’s 'reign' due to new legislation announced only tonight once the results had started to come in) or whether the head of the country is Mursi, part of who's campaign announced that if you vote Mursi you are voting for God and for Islam (which must be a hard argument to vote against unless you are really convinced that religion and politics should not be confused ), the times ahead are bound to be very interesting.

Everyone I know within Tourism and Entertainment voted Shafiq. Whether it will come to pass or not, they are scared that if Mursi gets in he will 'stop all the fun'. No more bellydance, alcohol nightclubs, live music.... a huge list of bans of which these distractions will be merely that, a distraction.

This is still a risk. I just have to hope for my own sake, and for all those who I live beside and work beside, that, no matter who gets voted in by morning, does what is truly best for Egypt.

In my heart of hearts I cannot believe that controlling and restricting people can make a country grow. I am perhaps naive and foolish. I worry. In fact those who know me well, say that worry is my permanent state of being. Just now I am worried right down to my nail beds.

Forgive me this worried waffle......( and thank you for reading thus far!!) .... it is strange writing it in all my uncertainties , knowing that at least part of this will be history before most people get to read it.

By the time you are reading this we probably already know who will be Egypt's next president. (Only probably because in the last 18 months in particular I have come to realise you really can’t take anything for granted).

What we won't know, not for a while.... will be the actual real effects that this choice will bring to us all.

I have to try to sleep now - Tomorrow will bring what it may. 'Hanshuf' (we will see)

nb.- Before I get more sarcastic comments from 'Anonymous'; I am not a journalist. I am not pretending to be. I am a woman, a dancer, who has chosen Egypt as her home for the last 6 years because I love so many things about this amazing country cultures and its people. My fears are partly selfish, which is only human (I am human!) but I know how lucky I am. I also know I have the choice to leave if that is what I would decide to do, if things were to get bad. If my job was to suddenly be banned for instance. My fears are also however, with the Egyptians who don’t have the same choices or freedoms as I do in my life.

I hope my Tabal is right......................