Nerves

wow... Last time I came back to Edinburgh I was actually excited and looking forward to going 'home' to Cairo.
This time I am scared. I want so much to get the whole work situation sorted out- so i can truly live my dream out there and perform... and the last 7 months have been so tough, dealing with the, well, with the people really. Not knowing who to speak to about work, how to speak to them, how much to hassle them and how little to trust them etc etc. That and just getting to speak to the right people in the first place.
Within my last week out there 2 Egyptian men told me, seperately, that I would never perform in Cairo because I looked too honest and good- ie that i was not the sort of girl to do ANYTHING to get the job ( and no , it wasn't a line!) . I can't believe that it does come down to just that, or maybe I am being too naive and wishful. Its a hard business- and i guess there are many aspects to getting to the top......... but if everything were just to go on merit alone, i know my dancing is good enough and that i have what it takes........... so we shall see over the next couple of months how it goes. Fingers crossed. Wish me luck...