Out at sea – cruise part 3

This was a big day for me; my first day waking up on board the ship, from a deep sleep in a very comfy bed, and my first day of ‘work’.

The days schedule (that was put in the little box outside everybody’s room on a daily basis) told us all that today would be an Arabic class, two bellydance classes and a bellydance performance. Busy Lorna!

So half an hour before the Arabic class was due to start I sat down to work out what I was going to teach. Not exactly a lot of preparation, but I already had a fair idea of what basics we would get through in the half hour I was allocated. If we got past ‘hello’,’ thank you’ and ‘yes and no’ I’d be lucky! I was pretty nervous though- I had a fear that someone who spoke Arabic would come along just to pick me up on something or make fun of my pronunciation. So the beginning of the lesson was a huge disclaimer that I was not a native speaker, but that I had lived there for seven years and had ‘got by’! 

My fears were justified. I had a woman from Iraq come along with her American husband (I presume for him to learn?). Every time I said something I would give a sideways look towards her, which she always caught, but thankfully she would also nod in approval! At the end she said I had done very well. Phew! Our half hour actually stretched to an hour because everyone was so interested and asking questions. There were at least 50 in the class! They liked it so much they all wanted handouts so they could practise. There was yet another thing to add into my day- I did type them up and I actually posted the lesson in this blog in case you missed it... http://bellylorna.blogspot.com/2013/06/basic-egyptian-words-to-use-on-your.html

Then, the bellydance class. I decided since there were only about 15 or so ladies I wouldn’t use the head mic, however, by the time we had finished the introduction I realised I probably should have, since I had nearly 60 people in the class! Great hilarity ensued and we were all shaking it to our hearts delight by the time the lesson was over. After nearly 17 years of teaching experience I still love that first class that people do. Their facial expressions when they are concentrating hard to move their hips in a figure of eight, their joy when they ‘get it’. It is a small scale version of having children for me- experiencing  elements  within the dance anew through their fresh eyes. I should do more teaching. I get so much out of it for me. When I moved to Cairo I decided to do very little teaching and focus on the performance. My thinking was that I could teach when I am 60 – but by then I wouldn’t be able to be performing on a stage in Cairo! Now however, looking back over my over 7 years here, I realise that actually teaching is important to me. To my own dance and development, but also on a psychological level, that interaction with women who want to learn. I plan to teach more from now on....

In the second dance class of the day I was impressed that yet again we had fairly high numbers and that many from the morning had come back for more! So I had to teach a class that was suitable for complete beginners, but also not a repeat of the one earlier- in fact that was the experience for the rest of the cruise. I taught 8 classes over the course of the 2 weeks, and in everyone I had the die hards that come to every class, and I also had total first time beginners too. I don’t know who people who plan their lessons allow for these things? I teach almost every class as I perform every show. Improvised. When I perform it allows me to gauge the audience reaction, to do more of this, less of that, depending on their response. In teaching, exactly the same. If I plan something too much then a lot of the joy goes out of the class for me, the interaction is lost, or at least greatly reduced. It becomes (read with a robot voice)’must teach x,y then z....’  rather than (normal voice!) ‘Oh let’s do x... oh that works well.. but maybe since that was hard we will do j and k, oh and then z and then c and ... ‘ well you get the idea. I end up doing a lot more usually, but it flows, there is reason to it. Not a logical one that I could have planned in advance. But one that organically grows within the class between my students and me. Whether it is a taster session beginner’s class or an advanced professional private one to one class.

Anyway- back to the ship.

My 3 classes of the day over with I had 45 minutes to get to my cabin, shower, dress, make up – AND sync my playlist onto my iPod. This last bit was my downfall. It always is. I can never decide which songs to dance to until the very last minute- which is why working with a talented band in Cairo is my ideal situation since almost always I turn to them after one song and say- oh do you guys know..... and usually they do and we perform it without any rehearsal. I guess I am addicted to the adrenaline! So- the iPod, of course, decides it doesn’t want to sync. No reason (ok, maybe in my time related stress there was a logical reason but I sure as heck couldn’t see it!). What to do?

Ah. IPhone... phew- thank god I have that. Ok- sync done tick... get to the crow’s nest (the bar I was to perform in at the very top of the ship, which is now FULL of people, literally a couple of hundred – let’s just say, most were standing because all the seats were taken!) 5 minutes before I was due to go on. Phew.

Now all I had to worry about was how much they would laugh at my bright pink skin that was clashing beautifully with my lime green costume. Yes I know- stupid stupid me!

Or at least that is all I ‘thought I had to worry about.

I haven’t had an iphone for long. I didn’t even know it had a shuffle option....

Oh yes, I found out the hard way. Tell me I am not the first bellydancer this has ever happened to please?

I spent the entire show (30 minutes and 7 tracks) praying that the next song wasn’t going to the ‘outro’ music!!!! The gods were on my side... every thing else was completely mixed up, but somehow worked anyway, and the outro was the outro! Yippee. My relief was tangible!

It went very well. I had people up dancing and everyone was very receptive and complimentary! A good job well done. Pat on the back for me, Ouch, No... Too much sunburn for that!

I am kicking myself now that I don’t have a single photo of any of the classes or the shows. I was too busy doing them. I am sure there will be photos kicking around facebook and YouTube... and if they ever appear I will attach them!

After I had finished I called Margo about something and she said, 'oh, I am up at the captains champagne meet and greet, come and join us....!' So I threw on a little black dress, as one does, and headed there. 3 glasses of free champagne later I still hadn’t met the captain who was too busy shaking hands with everyone but I had met and chatted with a great number of Dutch guests, who were a lot of fun!

After having responsible for the entertainment so far that day, I then decided to see what the ship had to offer in its own entertainment! After a huge dinner of course. I am lethal at a buffet. Maybe it’s my Scottishness but I want to try everything and end up with way too much food. Everytime. Ah well- to be honest- the food was so good, every meal, every single thing I tried, that it was impossible not to put on weight during this trip! It just had to be done!

That evening I watch Jodie and the Halcats in the ocean bar, Ben and the Halcats (a different band!) do the British Invasion night in the Queens lounge and the amazing full show, Aces High in the vista lounge. Lounge is the wrong word for the last of those venues. It is a full blown theatre. The Show was fabulous. Far better than anything I expected to see on a ship and far better than many things I have seen in actual theatres over the years! The voices were superb and the dancing was wonderfully choreographed and professionally performed. The stage setting and backdrops were impressive. The whole thing beautiful.

Everything on ship seemed to go to sleep about 11pm. I suspect due to the average age of the guests....! The staff bar however partied until 1am. I didn’t go there very often in my time aboard, mainly because you had to go through the bowels of the ship to get there and I could never remember how!

That day I received some wonderful news and did some organising to arrange a special treat. You however, will have to wait until my next blog entry to find out what that was!

Apologies for lack of photos in this entry- more tomorrow I promise!

Going Cruising...From River Nile to the Mediterranean Sea..

So, my ‘normal’ job is that of a bellydancer on the Nile, Cairo. Granted there are perhaps few that would call this ‘normal’ but there you go. That’s what I do.

My UK agent, Taste of Cairo, contacted me 4 weeks ago and asked if I would like a wee holiday away from my normal Cairo job. The contract was to be bellydancer on a cruise ship, the MS Noordam, part of the Holland America line for 12 days. Sailing Rhodes, Egypt, Crete, Athens, Santorini, Katakolon and ending my contact in Venice. All I had to do was teach an Arabic lesson, 7 bellydance lessons and perform 4 times total over the 12 days. Ok, the pay wasn’t great, but all the flights food and accommodation (obviously!) was thrown in. A busman's holiday (ok- so more like a boatwoman's holiday!)

I have to admit, it took me a week to decide whether to take the job or not.

I know reading this you are probably surprised that it took so long... a 5 star cruise in Europe...What on earth is there to think about?

The truth is I am a bit of a scaredy cat when it comes to doing new things, meeting new people and travelling alone.

Honest. I am.

I know, I know... I gave up my entire life in Scotland and moved to Egypt over seven years ago to be a bellydancer here, how could I possibly be scared of doing new things. In fact, what could be braver? Truth is, I suspect if I had had the slightest idea of how difficult things were going to be here in Egypt, Getting work and work papers, living through a revolution, just day to day living at times, if I had known all that, I am sure I would not have made that move! Plus of course, in the beginning when I was young and naive, I really thought I was just coming here to Cairo for 6 months and then returning to my friends and family and dance business back in Edinburgh! 6 months, oh how the fates have enjoyed that wee joke. I am glad I did it, of course, but I do sometimes wonder how different my life would have been if I hadn't. It certainly wouldn't have been as interesting or as challenging! Being a Bellydancer in Cairo now defines me.

Anyway, even though I was so scared about doing something new, I decided, after a 'get a grip of yourself woman, its a 5 star cruise on the Med!!!!' talk from my friend Ellie, to bite the bullet and go. 

After all, How bad could it be? The ship had a pool, and a gym and I would have lots of time to catch up on outstanding emails and work I had to do (oh how much I laugh at that idea in hindsight now!!), and it would be nice to get a break from Cairo pollution and chaos for a little while!

I flew to Rhodes (via Athens) 2 weeks ago, and then the adventures began.

You have to excuse me, but the next few blog entries are going to be about my experiences as the Guest entertainer on a cruise ship! Some of you were following me from one port to another via facebook, however here is a little more of the story. Let me take you on a Mediterranean journey on board the MS Noordam.... 

From this;

To this.... 

... and back again! (yes I am back in Cairo now!) 

Thanks to Tracey at www.TasteOfCairo.com for the opportunity!

The 'real me' gives you- Tour spring 2013 feedback

This blog entry is a bit of an ego fest I am afraid.... the thing is – I have received so much lovely feedback on my performances, workshops and private classes across the UK over the last 4 weeks, that I wanted to show them off, I mean erm, share them with you!! Hehe.

That first paragraph is from the public 'fun' Lorna... Here is a little bit of the real me;

My previous blog was all about the insecurities I know that I share with many other dancers all over the world. How life as a dancer can be difficult at times. Many people came back to me about that entry and said how much it spoke to them. That it helped them to know they weren't the only one to feel that way. That blog entry has so many heartfelt comments attached to it now. Thank you for taking the time to share your feelings and wishing you all the happiness in your world of dance.

One of my biggest failings in life, not just dance, is focusing on the negative. I do it a lot. Too much. Ironically, only my own failings, or perceived failings. With other people, and especially my students I can only ever see the positives and potentials. So why can I never seem to do that for myself? I know it's not healthy but I haven't worked out a way round it yet.

 For example; I might get 5 compliments after a show, but one tiny 'look' the wrong way (never mind a comment) will be the one thing I see and feel. A whole good show will get thrown away as rubbish in my head because I feel someone 'hinted' that it could have been better. I might have a full class, but then take it to heart if someone leaves early (even if they have given me a perfectly good reason why they would have to!!!!) Over sensitive and over self critical. Not exactly a positive place to grow from.

Also, because of the afore mentioned insecurities, often when I get feedback on my work I brush it off as 'they are just being nice', or 'they don't know any better',  anything really so as not to listen to it. I am not really sure where this urge to punish myself comes from... but I have been told recently by a close friend that if I spoke to her the way I speak to myself then our friendship would have ended a long time ago! I hear her, and I understand what she is saying, but find it so very hard to be kind to myself. 


This blog entry is a bit of therapy for me... you don't have to read it... but I had to write it. 


I have gone through my emails and facebook over the last month and picked out all the lovely, positive things people have said about me and my work during this past tour. I hope they will be ok with me sharing them. I haven't asked permission to share because there are just so many! These lovely comments are part of what keeps me going at times I might be tempted to give it all up.

 I need to listen to them a little more and perhaps even believe a couple of them from time to time! Wish me luck....!

And a huge thanks to Karen Price for these lovely photos of some of my new costumes! 

Here goes... 'the Lorna love fest' ;



“Wow!!!!! Today has been awesome. I learnt so many things today....... 1. Be yourself. 2. There are no rules. 3. If you don't know what to do with your arms take them up and then use them to have a conversation with the audience 4. That a stick can be used for something other than Saaidi dancing - it looks amazing when performed slowly Baladi style 5. Some useful tips on how to transition from one move to another 6. How to dance to the whole audience at the same time. Not to mention our evening out .....Ladies, if you missed out on tonight - you really missed a treat! Lorna was amazing not just with her dancing but with her insight into life in Cairo as a dancer. A huge thank you to Lorna.” Karen 



“If I learned anything today it's that British ladies CAN! Thank you Lorna xxx “ Angela 

Happy? who...? Me? whatever gave you that idea?

“Lorna of Cairo is a wonderful teacher and dancer x” Vanessa 



"Fantastic workshops with Lorna of Cairo today! Really inspired by her warm and generous teaching style and having had a day of eureka moments, lots of quiet reflection will follow. Really affirming day. Thank you so much for giving me the courage and the permission to start putting together my own sentences - I’ve got the words, I can now put them together, hopefully to create something wonderful! Excellent workshops - fulfilled me in so many ways and still have the heady feeling of a great days dancing. It was so good to know that it was ok to try out new moves, to play around and not have so much verbatim technique. So it is with great delight that my limited rule book was officially binned. For me, it's all about permission to dance, keeping the integrity, whilst maintaining a healthy respect for the dance and its culture. Once we allow ourselves that, we can fly as dancers. I need to have that message regularly drummed into me which is why I loved the workshops so much. Lorna is a wonderful teacher and dancer. "Abi 

“the Eureka moment only came to me at the very end when I danced like a lunatic to the last song and then I realised what Lorna meant and I knew I had to dance like that to Baladi - now my challenge is to find some Egyptian music which really makes me wants to dance like that. “ 
Karen 

“Had fantastic workshop today with Lorna of Cairo, loved every minute (I can feel my legs until now). You are a star xxxxx “ Sarasvati

Insecurity

I have decided to write this blog entry because I have a feeling it might help other dancers to feel less ‘alone’.

We live in a highly competitive world. I feel like professional artists (and I will talk about dancers specifically since that is what I really know about) have pressures seldom found in other work places. For example:

-We, dancers are rarely seen as having a ‘proper’ job.

-We, dancers are often expected to dance for very little money or sometimes invited along to places to dance for fun (i.e. for free!).

-We, dancers are judged on our age, looks and figure, our ability as teachers and performers as well as on our dance skills.

All of these things, and this list is by no means exclusive, make things hard when we are trying to make a living in an already competitive field. Bellydance especially is a field where you find many women who will happily dance for free or for cheap rates because dance is not their main source of income, therefore they can afford to, and do, without considering the effect that has on ‘the market’ for those of us for whom dance is our sole income.

All these points and many more like them are often the bulk of discussion forums and articles.

This is not however the main topic of my blog today.

What gets me the most is the self doubt, insecurity, feelings of being a fraud, feelings of inadequacy that I get as a dancer and I hear from other dancers time and time again. ‘I am stuck in a rut’; ‘no matter what I do my dancing doesn’t seem to improve’, ‘what’s the point? I’m never going to be x,y,z’.

The problem in art is that you are only a good artist if people ‘like’ your work. And what people like is guided by so many factors. Their personal artistic likes and dislikes, cultural awareness, their experiences, what the people around them are saying, reviews, their own insecurities and jealousies etc etc.

So yes, we get through this by dancing for ourselves- to be as good as we can be.

But, let’s be honest, this only really works as long as dance is your hobby i.e. you are not trying to earn your living by dancing in front of an audience.

As soon as an audience becomes involved the stakes get raised. We want the people we are dancing for to like us, to appreciate us, to rate us. That is human nature.  We get stage fright. Some get so scared they don’t even perform or they don’t perform to the level they feel they should or could.

That’s when the beatings start.

Beating yourself up that is! (Not some kind of S & M thing!!!)

I cannot count how many times I have come off stage so upset and angry at myself because I feel I have let myself down. It doesn’t matter what people say after a show like that. I wave away their compliments. I focus on anything and everything negative (usually exaggerating it way out of proportion). The people who are saying nice things are just saying that because they are my friend, or people they don’t know any better, or because they feel they ‘should’ say something, not because they really feel it.

I can’t count how many times in the years I have danced I have been in tears when I come off stage. Angry at myself for having, in my eyes, let the audience, and myself down. Of course, that is never what anyone ever says to me... but I feel it. And it burns.

Usually, when these attacks of insecurity hit, I feel what I did was ‘boring’. That I repeated the same move over and over again. In the past, when I have felt this on stage, I push myself to do more and more technique. To show off moves to ‘prove’ to the audience and myself that I CAN do this. Unfortunately that is the very thing that comes back to bite me. By trying so hard, I start thinking and stop feeling. When I stop feeling, I stop enjoying. If I am not enjoying my dance how can I expect anyone in my audience to enjoy it too? Then if I suddenly panic on stage that the audience are not enjoying it I try harder and fail more. See the problem? Of course, my friends would say that I am over exaggerating the problem, that my dancing is never boring etc. Bless them. They might even be right. But when you work yourself up into in insecure state like that it is hard to listen.

So, I am aware of it now... aware of the spiral I follow when I get myself into a state and I guess that is the main part of the battle.

Now, if I start to feel a little wobbly mid show, and it still happens, on a more often than I care to admit frequency, I am able to see what is happening and stop the descent into hysteria.

Nothing worse than a hysterical bellydancer!

So... what I do is I stop. Literally. I stop on stage... and do the most basic of moves.. Very concentrated and slow. Even if the music is fast, I find something in the music that is slower and I circle or figure 8 that ‘thing’ until I am breathing more normally again. I also force myself to look into the eyes of my audience and smile. A smile that says I am really happy I am here dancing for you and isn’t this music amazing? Not a smile that begs ‘like me like me like me’. A smile that connects with someone and says to them ‘isn’t this figure 8 just the most perfect thing to do to this music?!! It feels fantastic’.

It works every single time. I make eye contact, I connect with someone and instantly I am like Popeye after some spinach. I feel recharged and confident and all because I took it down a notch (ok- sometimes a LOT of notches). From then on I feel that at least one person in the audience is with me and already thinks I am good so I am dancing for them!

Often in class I ask people to think of a family party or wedding. Imagine everyone up on the dancefloor, after a few glasses. Do you watch the younger pretty girls who are self-conscious and doing pretty but ‘safe’ moves? or do you watch mad Uncle Albert who is being silly and having a wild time to himself? The uncle, right? Why? Because it makes us happy to watch people having a good time. It is really difficult not to smile if someone is so obviously happy. Even more so if they are smiling at you. Especially when you feel that smile is heartfelt. If you smile, even if you don’t feel happy at the time, just the act of smiling can make you happier. So if you feel like that when you are watching uncle Albert, why wouldn’t other people feel like that watching you, doing the thing you love more than anything else (dance!!!) ? Share with them how happy it makes you.

It works for me.

That’s how I do it on stage...........

Off stage is harder. All those times you question your own ability. Especially when you are home, having a fat day (we ALL have them!), in pain, and/or feeling that there just isn’t any point to it all. Believe it or not, almost every time the answer to this dilemma is DANCE. It often helps me to go out clubbing or salsa dancing... so I am dancing and getting my endorphins flowing again but without the stresses involved in practising ‘moves’ and ‘trying’ to get them right. That trying thing again, see?

It is good to doubt yourself from time to time. If you think you have reached the top, achieved perfection... then you never will. You stop learning. You stop pushing yourself.

Each time I have a big bout of self doubt it is ALWAYS followed with a Eureka moment about my dance and another step up on that every expanding ladder I am climbing in my head. It is hard to remember that at the time of course.... at the time I just want to crawl into a dark space and hide, make it all go away. Yet every time I do come out the other side having ‘realised’ something that helps me progress. It might be a tiny thing, or it might be a complete mental turnaround, but almost always it is something from inside of me. Nothing to do with ‘technique’ or ‘steps’. Yet often the blackness has been caused by worry about just those things!

I am sharing all this, because I know I am not alone in these fears... and I hope that if you are reading this and relating to any of it then maybe some of my experiences can help you get a little hope.

I’d love to be confident in life, and in dance. I’d love to really feel I was the ‘best’ at something. The thing is... I don’t actually believe such a thing exists. (Which is why I can never really get behind the concept of bellydance competitions- but that is a whole other can of worms I don’t want to get into here). I remember being at a salsa convention and one of my friends asking a stunning young Cuban girl ‘isn’t it difficult being so beautiful?’ she was of course being flippant, however the girl actually stopped and turned and thought and said, ‘yes, sometimes it is’. She had a sad look on her face at the time. We put ourselves down so much, all the time, sometimes we need to step back and accept the true level of things, without pushing ourselves up, or down... and wondering from there how we can improve how we feel about our level. Because it’s the happiness, contentedness, acceptance of who we are and why we love dance that counts.

Every single person who started to learn bellydance did it because music made them happy. Music made them want to move. Why when we get caught up into the ‘hows and whys’ do we lose that joy?

So, next time you are feeling a bellydance block, just do whatever you need to do to get that Joy back....... and everyone will stop and watch you dance. I promise. 

endorphins

Don’t you already find that the nights you least expect to be good turn out to be the best?!!!

Last Thursday night I was NOT in the mood to party at all. I went out only because I had promised my friend Linda I would attend her open mic night, up on the roof, at Darb17/18. I take the metro to get there since it’s in fustat, very close to the metro stop mari girgis. Ellie and I were hesitant about taking the metro, since at night there are usually just too many men around for comfort, even if you ride the woman’s only carriage, which I always do, you still have to get there in the first place! Even if they don’t ‘do’ anything- they slow down so they can walk next to you, or behind you... it is not a nice feeling! Last Thursday night we were lucky. There was a major football match on with Ahly playing (one of the major Cairo teams) ... so many of the usually annoying boys, were plonked in front of a TV somewhere and not out to intimidate us girls! There is always the shove to get on the metro when it is so busy... people don’t wait for others to get out before they push their way in... It’s the worst thing about the metro. I have heard a story of a guy being separated from his shoe trying to get off at his stop! There is no concession made for a woman with a baby in her arms either. She is shoved along like everyone else.  One woman in our carriage got in... But it was such a stressful event that she had obvious tears in her eyes but the time she came to a standstill! It’s never boring. Even going to an event is always eventful!

So by the time we got to Darb unfortunately we had missed most of the 1^st set. The second set was shorter than usual- but had some impressive acts. Leena from India performed a dance that was like a fusion of belly dance, Indian dance and contempary. That is the first dance act I have seen at one of these events.  There was a poet who had written traditional style poetry in fusha inspired by modern films. I couldn’t understand a word- but his voice and delivery was beautiful. There were two guys there called ‘extra cheese’ who did some rapping... and it was incredibly entertaining.... a mix of English and Arabic and very bouncy. I have to say though I wasn’t the only one in the audience who held their breath the 2 times one of ‘the cheeses’ jumped up onto the wall behind the stage (it is held on the roof of Darb after all!!!) The good news for the night was hearing that the open mic events have been deemed so successful that they will now be held every 2 weeks rather than once a month!! Well Done Linda!

Then I decided that part of the reason I had been in a low mood earlier, was because with less work these days than normal, my body was missing movement. If I don’t dance every 2^nd or 3^rd day at least then I get depressed. Literally... I am addicted to the endorphins that dance releases in my body! I should lock myself into my dance studio and just dance- but for some reason i can never seem to do that.... So off to Salsa at Bian Cafe, Mohandiseen it was. I loved it! They played one rock and roll track, which I sat out, but every other song of the night saw me being spin around the dance floor like a woman processed! I cannot explain the high dancing gives me! But Bian Cafe does not party all night long... and I was not prepared to leave that high too early... so Ellie and I went on with a group from salsa to the Armada nightclub... which parties till the break of dawn- literally. They play a mix of music with some R&B, which I love, and Egyptian pop and shabbi tracks to full on house music (which I hate- but last night with all those endorphins kicking about inside me found me bouncing about the dance floor with the rest of them!!!) It was the best of nights!

 The downside of the night was on leaving the club, discovering that someone had slashed the tyres on the car we had arrived in. His wasn’t the only car, 4 others had suffered the same fate. The theory is that the car valets, who charge money to look after your car while you are in the club, took offence to us just parking in the street and decided to take matters into their own hands. Horrific! Complaints to management were made. Inshallah that won’t happen again!

At the end of the night, i.e. dawn!!!, some of the group were still in party mood and suggesting sharia haram for the cabaret clubs there...... one of our group excused himself with the most entertaining and original reasons I have ever heard; “ Sorry- but I have a revolution to make in the morning! “

On Friday masses have gathered in Tahrir to demand that the original revolutions demands from January are actually met. Mubarak may have been brought down, but many feel it is only the figurehead that has changed and the way the country is being led is as far away from democracy as you can get. I wish them well and pray for a peaceful resolution, now they are on day 3 of their sit-in which has been peaceful thankfully. There is a lot of debate about whether this is the 'right' way forward for Egypt or not. Some people worry that having all these protests will scare away the tourists- who are much needed for Egypts economy. I feel that it is such a joy that Egyptians can at long last- for the first time in their lives and those of their parents, actually hold public political gatherings and voice their ideas, that as long as the protests remain peaceful, they actually cement the progress the country has already made since January. Education though is the real key now and needs to be pushed more. Teach people how to vote, how to campaign, how to chose what thhey want from a government. They have never had options before. Good luck to them all (to us all !!)

parties parties parties...

apologies to my blog readers...

Facebook has seriously taken over....

now whenever something happens in my life in Cairo - instead of tunring it into a blog article, with lots of relevent (well, sometimes relevent) info and stories, it becomes a one line status update. NOT good... especially as this blog is supposed to be my memory aid for when i am old and grey and come to write up the whole bellydancer in Cairo experience into a book... (that is , once I no longer live in Cairo and can actually dish the dirt hehe!!!)

anyway- whats been happening? 3 parties in 2 days... and all very diffferent!

I performed at a birthday party on Eid at a friends house... it was great. I danced to Enta Omri, which when i had 1st put it onto the cd had thought maybe this is too heavy for a party... but then I thought- why not, i love it and want to dance it. So i did... and the atmosphere in the room became electric once it started... at one point i started to sing outloud (it was an instrumental version of the song) and about 15 people, mainly egyptian women , all joined in the song... and i swear I nearly cried. I felt i had really, finally made it- I belonged. I fitted. I hope i never forget that feeling, it was so emotionally overwhelming!

after the party i went along to catch the end of the opening gala for the Nile Group festival. I had missed all the dancers, but the Saaidi band were still playing and my houseguests were all there dancing away as was my friend Aleya. So we all had a boogie together and Magdy el-Leisy dragged me up on stage to dance with him. We had a fabulous time! Just wish I could have been there for the whole thing... was nice to see and chat with Camelia at the end, but wish i could have seen her show too, not to mention Asmahan and Nour! ah well, next time!

Yesterday I went to another party, but not to watch or perform dance, for a change.  Through my writer friend Linda, I have met some swiss artists who are here in Cairo on a residency and they invited us to their studio for a party. The strange thing was that this studio is on an island, in the Nile, in the middle of Cairo (just near the pharonic village) and you have to access it via boat (which cost 25p each way, Egyptian piestres not pence that is !!). There are no roads on the island, and its all fields and palm trees. I really felt I was out of the city in the middle of the countryside. It was lovely and peaceful. Linda performed her poetry with 2 friends who are musicians backing her up. They performed in a 'cage' on the roof- a space designed to keep away mossies... and which was well lit so made a bizarre, but fabulous stage! at one point, to take a call, after the show, i wandered over to another place on the roof and found myself looking over the fields and trees and Nile, with complete silence around me, and started to dance, just for myself, no music, but I felt so free... I can see why they chose that spot for the residency studio- it was really inspiring!

Here's Linda in her cage stage' !!

Hecklers

I have just this second realised that my reduced number of blog entries over the last year directly corresponds to my increased use of facebook. I blurt out my news quickly there in a one line status, rather than using the experience to write a whole wee story about it! hmm- Will try to start putting MORE into the blog although the juicy stuff is usually here anyway. (If you want to join the facebook craze I'm there as 'Lorna of Cairo aka Bellylorna' )

So,I am currently sitting with my feet in a basin of iodine.... yet agian the floor at work has ripped my feet open .. and this seems to work calming down the infection quicker than anything else. It's not an ideal situation, but still better than dancing with shoes. i hate that.

Last night I had a HORRIBLE night at work. Really... i was so close to just walking away and not doing last shows ( although granted just walking off isn't exactly possible when you are on a boat in the middle of the Nile!). Anyway, it started with a young girl there with her family, she was maybe 12 years old. I go round all the tables at work to see if anyone wants a photo, and usually i pick out most of the children for a little special attention- that makes EVERYONE happy, and even the most jealous of wives soften when i fuss over their little darlings. Anyway, this little darling, wasn't. She looked me up and down, made a sneer and using her hand in my face waved me on by... the hand signal when you tell someone 'imshi' i.e. 'go away'! I repeated the hand signal to her, to make sure I had understood what she meant and i gave her a look to kill. But for the life of me couldn't find the right words in arabic to tell her parents to teach their children respect for others and their elders. Especially one who is smiling and sweating all night for their entertainment! You have to blame the parents really.

Then... in the same audience ( and i had six shows yesterday, so it's amazing that the two horrible people were in the same one and unrelated!) a man decided that HE was the star attraction , not me. He got on stage in the middle of my entrance dance and wiggled about. Then throughout my entire show he heckled, non stop, as in barely taking a breath. I wish I could understand what he was saying, actually, maybe its better that I couldn't. Basically he had the entire room in fits of laughter, at my expense. The only reason i know what he was saying wasn't complimentary was the looks on my musicians faces- they all looked like they wanted to kill him. It's like having 6 fathers all seeing it as their job to protect you. Bless them. Anyway- the only comment I fully understood was that my body was from the devil. So I presume that rest of the comments, which were constant, were sexual too, especially since it was the men in the room who were enjoying it most and the women were trying to give me encouraging smiles - and filming my dance. I don't know what i should have done... but I felt horrible after... like I had been abused- i wanted more than anything to take a shower and wash his comments off me. Now I wish i had walked off stage towards him, and told him in English to please respect my show and respect himself then returned to the stage. But I didn't think of that at the time...you never do , do you? ... I felt stuck, and humiliated. So much for my arabic being good, it's obviously rubbish, or he was intentionally pharsing things in a way so i couldn't understand. Somehow i had to regain enough confidence to perform two more shows last night after that. They probably weren't my best shows ever.

Anyway, today is another day and inshallah all my audiences tonight will be fabulous!

First and last!

This is my first blog with my new laptop... which i have only managed to set up and get online with now! The last one survived three and a half years of Cairo heat and dust- i think that is pretty impressive! Inshallah this one lasts at least as long!!!!

This is also my last blog of 2009.

What a year.

It's been a year of personal challenges never mind the day to day Cairo challenges. But a good strong support system of fabulous friends has kept everything going along quite nicely thank you and I am feeling good as i head into the year of the Tiger, 2010 !

The last year has seen me become stronger and more confidence in work, 3 years now I have been working at the Pharoah boats on the Nile. I AM a bellydancer on the Nile!! (sometimes even now it still feels like a game of dressing up or lets pretend!!!). I have my papers and contract for another year... and my dancing is improving daily.... just as my understanding of Egyptian language, culture and music increases too. I am getting more work abroad teaching workshops and performing... and lots more people are coming to me here in Cairo to either take private classes or stay with me in my 'bellydance' hotel ( ie my spare rooms which I rent out to dancers!!!). Things are good. Thank God and long may it last!!!!

So what are my dreams and resolutions for 2010?

- to do more. I am one of those dancers who is very lucky to be able to perform well without a lot of practise (assuming you don't include daily performances as practise which of course it is- just as teaching 25 classes per week when i was in Scotland was practise too!!!!). In 2010 I am going to make more effort to push my dance to greater heights and do more study, lessons and practise! That includes more stretching- which has unfortunalty fallen by the wayside as of late!

-to improve my arabic. It's ok at the moment- and I get by and can usually make myself understood and understand most of what is said to me- but i am sadly lacking in grammer and has a specialised, limited vocabulary and i feel after 4 years living in a country i really should be more fluent than i am! Lessons start this weekend!!!

-to get my music organised and onto this new laptop! I've not had music on my computer for a year now, and its been a hard year because of it! I need to get better aquainted with my music collection!

Actually thats it............ if I can manage those 3 things i will be a much better person and dancer I am sure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've written them down here so that you guys out there who read this (and thank you for all your support through the years!!) can help remind me of my resolutions and pull me up on them should I fall by the wayside!

I wish you all, all the very best in 2010 and hope it brings out the Tiger in you too!

Feel free to comment with your new years resolutions too....................!

Preparation...................

HMMMMMMMM


I really should practise what I preach!

I always say that improvisation wins hands down over choreography... but ONLY if you know your music inside out.

I messed up tonight, in my eyes at least. The thing was- I just couldn't face dancing to song I use in Cairo but dancing them with CD instead of my band... so I chose 2 songs i didn't know... one I heard for 1st time on thursday night and the other (a tabla solo) I heard for 1st time this morning!!!!!!!!

I do not recommend it.!!! KNOW your music!

I was lucky- it was a fabulous crowd and in my home town.. but my nerves got the better of me.... i was a shaky leaf for most of my show (mind you- seemingly, I managed to hide it well, so people tell me- so tonight at least, I was a better actress than a dancer!) In fact- I felt I only relaxed when i got the audience to clap out rhythms for me at the end and danced to that- see how addicted to live music I am now- even if its only handclapping it's way better than CD !!!!

You should never do THIS either- hanging your dirty washing out in public as it were....... Again ; Do as I say , not as I do!

i always tell students- that even if they hated their own show that if someone compliments them just smile and say thank you... even if you don't agree with their verdict!

however- its always good to learn........ even if from other's mistakes!

KNOW your music inside out before you perform to it!!!

That being said......... The halfa was a huge success. We were full to bursting- not enough seats for everyone (Thanks guys to being so understanding those of you who ended up sitting on the floor!).

The venue is STUNNING! a lovely stage ( unfortunatly with carpet- but also with full lighting rig and proper sounds system). I strongly recoemmend Voodoo Rooms as a venue for anyone holding any sort of party/show in Edinburgh!

Lots of money was raised for the 'Just Because' charity (although how much exactly i am not sure until all the ticket sales, raffle money and souk sales have been counted!!!)

If any one took photos tonight- let me see!!!! If anyone filmed my dance if THINK i want to see that too! In fact I came up with a good idea. there is always a quandry about whether to allow people to video or not. My conclusion tonight was to say- feel free to film a dancer perform- but only if you are prepared to give her a copy of it too!

Awaiting videos............!!!!

Thanks to EVERYONE who made tonight one of the best hafla people had been to in ages (at least thats what was being said within my earshot!!!!)

Tomorrow- Workshops and the surprise for those who have booked already- there's a live drummer ( as opposed to a dead one?!? ) coming to help us out in the workshops!!!

How do I feel? Happy to have seen so many old friends. Sad i felt I didn't give them my best, although they got everything I had to give at that time... relieved some of them still really enjoyed my dance..... and severely told off (by myself). Lesson learned.

ok- now I have just re-read all that and need to find the positive before I can sleep.

• Within only a couple of weeks we sold enough tickets to fill a fun halfa to overflowing
• We raised a lot of money for charity
• Everyone seemed to have fun
• i saw lots of fabulous dancers- some of whom I haven't ever seen perform before and some I haven't seen for a while! Scotland has talent!
• Live drumming during the evening kept my soul awake.
• I saw lots and lots of friends

Hmmmm- ok- it was a good night- but I need to find more positives about me, where is the Cairo Diva- I need to find her................

• My new costumes looked and felt great and stayed on (Thanks Eman Zaki!)
• I got enough applause at the end to be able to get them to clap out rhythms!
• A drummer in the audience said he was kicking himself because he didn't get his tabla out at that point in the show and take the opportunity to play for me
• I did shimmys on the raised stage that people, who were sitting on the floor in front of the stage could feel through the floorboards!!!
• Some people actually thought my new hair piece was real.... credit is due here to my hairdresser today- and to me for still having the bravery to flip my hair back during my 1st show (pussycat dolls style- aka Asmahan style!!!)
• I did my make-up well, considering I left my false lashes in Cairo
• I LOOKED confident, in control and in time with the music- despite how I felt
• I LOOKED like I was having fun and totally relaxed. ( and in the very end I did!)
• I combated my nerves and won ( although it took time) . One friend said I really did look like a 'star'- it's great to have good friends!!!

OK- so maybe I wasn't so bad....... most of these things take some degree of skill..... OK- I forgive myself- but I will PREPARE next time ( even if its just to KNOW my music better!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Night night all. You'll be relieved to know I have finished my blog therapy now! Thank you for sticking with me by reading all the way through to this point!

Ramadan Return to Rain

No big surprise there I guess. When I landed in Scotland on thursday afternoon it was, you guessed it- raining... and although there has been some breaks of sun occasionally, it has rained every day. It can really get you down. Amazing how sun lifts my mood so much. The weather is the number 2 reason I am in Cairo actually!!!!

I am aching to get to bed, its been a long few days....but taking the chance to write while I gte the chance to be online!

Yesterday I spent the entire day sifting though all my belongings to find all the costumes, cds etc etc I could cope with parting with in order to sell in my souk.

Today I spent the day drinking tea and chatting with old friends while people browsed through my things and tried on and bought my costumes....

I have to admit- there was a couple of times when i saw someone in my costume and said ( in my head- no no no- you cant have it- it's MINE !!!) Thankfully my brain won over emotion- andi managed to part with a few. Do other dancers have this problem? I LOVE my costumes.... I hardly ever sell them on, this is a 1st for me. and its hard. i actually shed a tear yesterday putting some of them into the cases!!! Costumes I have worn remind me of times and places and shows and emotions..... so hard to part with. Thankfully lots that I sold today went to dancers who are friends- and it will be a joy to see them dancing in them!

There are however 5 suitacases worth of things left over- yes you read that right- 5 suitcases!!!!!!!!!!! 2 of which a just cabaret costumes!!!!!!!! some new, some used (by me!)!!!!!

1 case is full of bellydance CDs which I am selling at 3 for £10........

Remember 10% of all sales is going to the charity 'just because' so I will count up at the end of the month and let you know!!!!!!!!!!!

I will have 'Lorna's clearance sale souk' out to sell at the hafla in The Voodoo rooms in Edinburgh on 4th sept (tickets for which need to be bought asap to confirm your place as its not a big venue so dont assume you can buy on the door!!!! See previous blog re hafla for booking email address!!) There are still some places left on the workshops on the 5th too.

I believe the places are going fast for the Dundee workshops on 19th and 20th Sept............

And of course there is always London on 13th - workshop and show.... I'll bring some costumes with me there- if there are any left!!!


Today is the first day of Ramadan.... RAMADAN KAREEM to everyone!

Kindness, Fire again and capturing your audience!

It's ok.... I am NOT going to pack it all in!

I was really down after the theft of my Gold Bangle... but the response I have had to that posting has totally reconfirmed my faith in human nature. So So So many people have emailed me, mostly people I dont even know, to sympathise and try to cheer me up. You really have been wonderful! Thank you for taking the time to show that people are essentially good and do care, and that the person at work who took the gold from me, is an exception rather than the rule!!! Bless you all!

The Fire also got a lot of comments too.... addition to that info was that seemingly there were flammable liquids inside the building ( whether intentional or accidental no-one seems to know) and also that despite being a government building- the building itself had no insurance! It also is a worrying state of affairs that fire officers had to be called in from outside of Cairo , from as far afeild as Alexandria, to help put it out! and that was a public building, on a wide main street........ heaven helps the inhabitants of Shubra, or Hussain ( poor areas with narrow lanes at times rather than streets!) should an incident ever happen there...........

Oh- and heres a tip for dealing with less than appreciatives audiences.......... here's what I have discovered from over and year and a half dancing on a boat on the Nile.... no matter how strict a muslim from saudi for example, or how jealous a woman from wherever.... Everyone responds well if you focus on the woman and children, rather than the men. OK, so its not rocket science... but when I turn around and see in the eyes of women dressed head to toe in black ( where its only the eyes that can be seen!) It's amazing... I look straight at them, I joke with their kids, I practically ignore their man, and suddenly the atmosphere is relaxed and fun........ for anyone finding they have a tough audience- I recommend it!!!

It can help resolve problems before they start too- one dancer this week on the boat ( not me) watched amazed, as a wife ( in Niqab- the full black outfit) turned round from her meal to discover her husband smiling and clapping and watching the dancer- so filled with rage, she slapped him full in the face right there at the table!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

teaching, performing, low life and fish. !!

Life is busy just now... but good.

I have a guest from Scotland staying and taking lessons with me which is fun and keeps me busy in the day- and of course- work has picked up now since its the 'arab' season , which means I am dancing til either 1am or 3 am each night.

I have had a few really good shows recently too- where I have felt the audiences have been totally with me, the women especially - even the ones dressed totally in black so i can just make out from their eyes that they are smiling at me and even winking sometimes!!!!

Had my 1st case of intentionally NOT being invited to something ( a friends wedding) simply BECAUSE i am a bellydancer. Not suitable as a guest! Not as upset as I thought I would be from the act of prejudice- maybe I have lived in Egypt long enough- and met too many of the 'dancers' so I understand why this stereotype of 'the bad woman' exists. Unfortunatly the scene here really can be low- often the people involved ( at every level from dancer, to drummer, to managers to agents etc etc ) as also involved in 'other stuff' ; drugs, prostitution etc. So for the average person in the street to assume all dancers are the same, is an understandable misconception. Understandable but equally frustrating when really nothing could be further from the truth!!!! ( I know lots LOTS of 'straight' 'good' dancers, mainly foreign, who are here and in this job simply because, like me, they LOVE dance and cannot live without it!)

oh- didn't write yet about my wonderful weekend in Sharm el sheik the other week.......... the most romantic, relaxing 4 days i have spent so far in Egypt. I faced my fear and learned to snorkle- well not totally - still couldn't do it alone- scared of the fish- how silly is that?! but it really is amazing ( if I can get past the sound of my own breath underwater, which sounds like a soundtrack to a scary movie!) all those colours and different types of fish. Sharm was busy- mad nightlife with bellydancers (mostly male) in most of the restaurants and people everywhere in the streets. best memories- sitting on the beach in bikini, watching the sun go down and also sitting in a restaurant which was on a pontoon over the water, drinking rose wine, then looking down to see lots of amazing fish beneath me in the sea all light up by the restaurant lights! Photos to follow asap!

Beauty from within

The following is written by a student, and friend of mine, Sara.

After she sent it to me i felt all warm and happy inside- so I figured that you too would appreciate reading it. (she did give me permission to paste it in!) you'll enjoy it especially if you have ever thought about taking up bellydancing and are not sure whether it is for you or not.......

Sara Lepine's 'the Art of Bellydance';

I've developed a serious passion for bellydance. It HAS always been on my "to do" list and is one of those fantasies I indulge in after every inspiring performance I witness. Well, it just so happens that Edinburgh has a relatively rich Bellydance community and I've been blessed to work with some outstanding dance intructors, all of whom are brilliant performers in their own right. So I have had ample opportunity to indulge myself and am currently making every effort to get the most out of my time here. To that end I now dance {quasi} professionally, at a lovely Moroccan restaurant, and attend multiple classes, workshops and performances limited only by my restricted student budget.

It's been well worth the effort.....not that I've become a spectacular dancer by any stretch of the imagination....but because the art itself has such a positive influence on so much of my life and I've seen the same in others.

I've found a wonderful network of friends through bellydance, and have seldom seen a community that offers such a warm supportive female environment.

It's also a fantastic workout, and as shown by dancers more dedicated than myself produces phenomenal muscle tone.

Add on to this the opportunity to shop for gorgeous yet totally impractical clothing and you've reached the stereotypical feminine ideal.

Yet what I love most about bellydance is very simple. Bellydance makes everyone beautiful. All women, of all ages, and of all shapes are nearly instantly transformed into these beautiful, sensual creatures through the art of dance.

A little of it's the clothes with that little added sparkle. But, it's mostly the way it makes you feel and the way you express that feeling through your dance. It's graceful, a little mysterious, sensual and fully enjoyable. It makes you feel beautiful and this feeling unconsciously changes the way you carry yourself and present yourself to your audience.

It's very much a "Look at me because I know I'm worth looking at." kind of feeling. And when you see a dancer that's connected to that feeling, she's actually glowing. She simply radiates self confidance and her pure enjoyment in the music and the dance will convince her audience that she's one of the most beautiful things they've ever seen.

I saw one performance where the dancer was heavily pregnant. Her abdominal moves were beyond impressive, with exquisite muscle control. And she was radiant.

I saw a much older lady, somewhat plump and quite scantily clad, dance with such force of personality and humour that you couldn't help but laugh and watch carefully for every nuance of expression, lest you miss the slightest detail.

I've even seen an older man doing a Saidi performance with a group of ladies. His face was simply shining with joy. You couldn't help but think it was wonderful and smile right back at him.

So this is what you feel when you dance. The joy, the power of the music, the true inner beauty shining through in a way everyone watching can see.

It's like you've taken something precious from inside yourself and are wearing it on the outside. Or maybe it's more like the superficial physical appearance melts away and you finally see what lies underneath.

And the best part is the more you learn to show that part of yourself, the less readily it sinks into the facade you've always shown the world. And more and more you become the beautiful creature you finally let out.

Thank you Sara- I couldn't have put it better myself....... This really is the answer to that often asked question 'Why do you bellydance' ?

How to make bad days better?

ok- so as performers, we all have good and bad days.......

yesterday wasn't my best ever- full of the flu, feeling low (you know- those days when you question the whole point of being) and it had been raining all day (I know that means nothing to those in UK, and my sympathies to you, but for me here I hate it even more than i did at home!!!!) anyway- I went to work, to find out that they have taken me off the rota for next 3 days (not good for the self esteem - even though it wasn't against me but you know how you take these things when you are low anyway!) and generally feel horrible- and then discover in the audience friends who are dancers (ie peer pressure to perform well).

Argggh!

well- i survived it- but only really danced well on first 2 songs I did (I felt) and those were only cos I was damned if these dancers were going to see me dance badly!!! After, when I spoke to them, they said no i hadn't looked like I had a cold on stage (which just goes to show I can act quite well when i have to) but then NO COMMENT re my dancing! Why is that? Did they hate it so much they couldn't bare to tell me te truth or lie to me, or did they think I was so wonderful but I knew that anyway so they didn't need to tell me? Grrr- I hate not knowing. I know I was brought up being told- 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all' but surely there must have been SOMETHING nice about my show- even if it was just my costumes?!!!!!

so- please - audience......... if you see a dancer perform, even if you don't like it, PLEASE dig deep to find SOMETHING good. Don't lie- not asking anyone to do that.... but don't act like they havn't done anything either- thats just not nice. Art is only art if it creates a response in its audeince- If I feel my dance has made no impact whatsoever there is nothing more demoralising!!!!!

Anyway- you can tell from the whole tone of this blog that I am still full of the cold, it is still raining and cold, and I am stil in a feeling sorry for myself mood!!!!!

So- How to perform when you feel like that?

- Pretend everything is good- the more you smile the more you feel like smiling. ACT!

- choose your favourite music and costumes- if everything around you is good then it will all be much better. Nice perfume helps too!

- Remind yourself that this is work- and you are getting paid to entertain- its not an exercise in making you feel good- you have a duty to your audence! (Thankfully I only have to fall back on this attitude very seldom- and even then, after a few mins of dance, the music usually lifts my mood!)

- Call on friends- thank god I have people around me who love me and admire what i do- at times like last night I have a wee moan to them and they remind me that I am good and to pick my chin up!

- This is advice for others that I don't take myself (but maybe should think about) If you choreograph your dance then even if you feel rubbish at least the technique will carry you through. Usually the other things above are enough to get me out my funk but last night I almost wished for a choreography to help me through!

- Waterproof mascara- for changing room before and after! sometimes the act only lasts as long as the performance does!

- Music- I said it before but for me it really is the most important. Last night my 1st 2 dances were strong- but I felt myself crumble on the 3 rd because it was one I don't dance to very often and don't feel so confident in. I should have chosen something different! Of course- I am my own worst critic and i am kinda hoping that what I felt as crumbling the audience just saw as not quite as enthusiastic as the others! The musicians said 'it all looked good- but did I have a cold?'- so thats all they noticed!

- oh, and another tip given to me by Caroline (dancer from Australia who has worked here for years) When it all gets too much- remember there are people out there who would pratically kill to get the opportunity to do what you are doing- even for a day. Dancing on the Nile, living 'the Dream'- dont forget it!!!!

If anyone has other tips for pulling yourself together emotionally or physically when you have to, I'd love to hear them!!

(and yes- have already tried the glass of wine and the bar of chocolate!)

oh well- as Karen sang- 'rainy days and mondays...........................'

Proving your worth

I know I shouldn't be worried but everyone has a right to get nervous...

My general manager has NEVER seen me dance- even though I have worked there for nearly a year. So he is coming to see me either tonight or tomorrow night and that will determine whether I get more or less nights per week performing! So- I know I can dance. But what if he doesn't take to me for some reason? Whats the worst that can happen?...........hmmm, they can end my contract I guess (thats already happened with one of the girls- naming no names untl it is official) ......... ok- that hasn't made me any less nervous.

Why is it, that no matter how good you become at something (and I KNOW i am a damn good dancer) that you always doubt yourself??? I am just too Scottish in some ways! (you know- 'who does she think she is... the queen mother?!' and 'dinnie get ahead of yersel' and all those lovely scottish phrases we have to bring people down)

Or maybe its just being in Cairo- where there are sooooo many other factors which seem to be given more weight than your dancing skill (eg chest size, age, who you 'know', etc etc)

Anyway - I am going to dance my socks off tonight (hopefully I will actually remember to remove said socks before I get on the stage though!!!!) and hope you all keep your fingers crossed for me!

oh- and thanks guys- blog subscription not even been available for 24 hours yet and I have 25 subscribers already! (which means you guys should be getting this straight into your email inbox- hope it works!!!)


ok- update.......... i am now home from work (where I DID dance my socks off- I was great! Really- people were up dance with me, audience were singing along with the songs, an all-round fantastic atmosphere!!) BUT of course no-one came to see me (well- the audience was there- but not the manager) so all that stress for nothing. As for coming tomorrow- No work tomorrow- boat is cancelled for the day. So where do I stand now? exactly where I was before. Oh- and the girl I was told wasn't working anymore is still on the rota, which is great for her I guess....

- so really I should just wipe this entire blog entry since it has been such a waste of time- and effort- but I'll leave it- so you can see how things change at the drop of a hat here in Cairo and nothing NOTHING ever goes to plan! since I have started to dance for a living I have NEVER wished for a 9-5pm job again as much as I do at this moment!

scrap that- It has to be dance. Nothing else is worth all this stress!

Amazing end to Scottish tour....

... they say the best way to appreciate your own country is to leave it. well- it's true!

On my last night in Edinburgh before coming back to Cairo, 3 wonderful things happened.

I went to the nature reserve at Aberlady, to watch the sunset, not knowing til I got there that lots of twitchers were there too- to see, and photograph the annual migration of geese! It was amazing to see V after V, thousands upon thousands of geese fly in to nest, at Sunset, after feeding all day- some flying in from as far as Iceland. Seemingly, they are only there for about a month each year- so to unexpectantly catch this amazing sight made me feel overwhelmed! It was cold, very, and i got a crookin my neck... but the sight of those squadrons of brids (far more than in any hitchcock film!) coming into the sunset above me will always stay in my mind.

Then I walked down to potobello beach - to say fairwell to the sea before my flight home (to Cairo that is!!!) and the sea was much further out than normal so there was huge expanses of sand in front of me and no clouds at all and the stars were soooo bright and so numerous again that my neck was in that same position for quite some time. I really don't remember them ever looking that amazing.

Then, for no apparent reason, or intended audience, 2 men on the beach started to lit firework after firework- a lovely show which went on for over half an hour..............

So , in all an amazing night, celebrating the wonders of Scotlands nature- the clean air, the birds, the sunsets, the stars, the beach and then fireworks to round it all off. All things which if I had been living my normal life in Scotland and not doing 'something special' to end my month there, I would have missed out on totally!!!! Wish I had photos of it all to show you!!!

So.................... This , along with the 1st hours of my arrival in Cairo, make up for and help console me, somewhat, for the horrors of the 1st day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1st day in Cairo..........

.............. not so good.

in fact- it had me walking along the street sobbing loudly by the end of it!

Whilst visiting a friend today, her bowab's son (caretaker) switched off the lift while I was in it. then came to my 'aid', he opened the door with his key- and eventually moved out the way when i refused to jump into his arms. then he touched my arm and I gave him a row and told him not to..... but all this was just an excuse to then touch my chest. I shouted and hit him and he ran away scared- but I was still shaking for a good while after it. suspect he'll be losing his job for that. I was shaken, but in control.

THEN.................... walking home this evening, 9pm, on hugely busy gamet d'owel street, a man on a bycycle just reached out one hand and grabbed one breast as i was trying to cross the road!!! I shouted after him and burst into tears then and there in a very busy part of the street. Everyone around must have seen what had happened, and certainly heard me shout and saw me cry- but NO-ONE did anything.................. I was gutted. I have never felt so repulsed and scared anywhere before. In all these years I have spent so much time in Cairo, and although the name calling can wear a girl down, and I have had the occasional bump pinch etc... to be groaped twice, in the same day- it has floored me. I really always believed if you were obviously wronged in the street like that, there were far more good people around who would help you, than bad, or frightened people who would pretend it hadn;t happened. That has blown my confidence in the 'egyptian hospitality' completely out the water.

was going to go out tonight with friends, but going to bed early now instead.................... can't face it.

God grant me the strength to pull the next one off his bike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

screaming fans

ok- I have to tell you all about this cos I am still in shock.
last night, I was in a taxi , heading home from work, when i heard screaming.................

the taxi next to me was full of teenage saudi girls in complete hysterics................. because they had just seen me perform and there I was 'the fanana' (star) in the taxi next to them!

the 2 taxi drivers thought this was a great laugh so they zig zaged their way around each other with one girl reaching her entire upper body out of the car window trying to reach me........!!!!

eventually the taxis stopped and the girls rushed out and I swear my cheeks were brusied because of all the kissing I received on them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They almost physically pulled me out the taxi through the window!! they were so excited that one girl couldn't even hold her mobile phone straight to take a picture- she was shaking so much.

I really don't remember ever feeling that level of hysteria- so to be causing it was just a brainwarp!

It was a VERY bizarre and unusual, to say the least, experience- but one I think I'll never forget!!!

Crazy Hours

I finished work last night at 1am... ate and slept for 2 hours- before getting up for a photoshoot at 5am........ I returned home 9 hrs later- to sleep for one hour before going to Golds to teach my class there, then , after a lovely meal (really couldn't say which you'd call it- breakfast? lunch? who knows..) I went home for 1 more hour sleep before I left for work at 10.30pm. Its now 2.45 am and I am just finished eating my 'meal' before going to bed again. 4hrs sleep in total, in 3 seperate stints- bizarre and totally horrible!!! I am completely dazed!

The car broke down on way there- so the photographer is busy with hood up fixing it and I am sitting in front seat putting on false nails- at 5.30am- so surreal!

The photoshoot was amazing though- thank god for make up artists after that little sleep i tell you! My skin is crying out for a facial now though- after all the hours standing about and dancing in thick make up!!!That might be my treat to myself once i have caught up on th sleep!! oh - and before you all ask- yes of course I'll add the photos as soon as I get them!!!!!


oh- an aside-

I saw a policeman, standing in road- directing traffic with a sherbit dip style lollypop in his mouth!!!!!!!!
the origins of where lollypop man came from perhaps???!!!!!!!!!

mixed feelings- a day in the life of...

last night I got a call at 2am asking me to work 12.30 lunch shift on the boat the next day.... great- I had had 3 days off- so sounded like a good idea...

BUT the customers (just one deck worth unfortunatly) were from I don't know where- some Eastern European country I think... and they had obviously had quite a day of it , probably walking about in the 40 deg plus heat around the pyramids.... but they looked knackered and fed up. I had a hard time getting even the children to smile.

so I decided to cheer myslef up with a lunch from pizza hut- I fancied their salad bar- until I saw it... tomato, and cucumber- but other than that almost all pickles.... not exactly what I was hoping for. But it was cool and calm and I had a window seat watching the world go by- so still all good.

then I tried to get a taxi. No **** would stop for me! thats a lie- they would stop - but when they heard I only wanted to go a short distance then just sped off- its so demoralising.... or tried to charge 10le for a 2le journey! so I walked- in the intense heat, for about 25mins. And so of course attracted tooooooo much attention (did still have all performance make up on!) so was in a royal bad mood when I got home.

However the AC in my bedroom is good and I took my laptop and a DVD to my room and chilled for a couple of hours- very nice. Happy again.... Couldn't sleep though- my bowabs daughter is getting married- so all friends and family are gathered in essentially my driveway to celebrate........... much Zaghreeting goes on all day long...

Then i stand in my changing room getting ready to go on stage with the singer and my dresser discussing how I was looking fatter- I had out on weight....... ok , so its true- but WHAT woman wants to hear it just before a dance? After my performance ( not my best- obviously) I discovered that they meant it as a huge compliment- that I was looking more 'moza' (sexy). cultural differences eh?!

the rest of the night was wonderful-4 shows- fantastic audiences- lots of women and children , enough Egyptians to make up for the gulfies... and my band were on form..... a few women even got up to dance with me (one I discovered used to be a dancer when she was young and before she took to the veil- so her compliments meant lots too!) I got to hold a new born baby (still red and wrinkly!!!) and lots of mothers seemed to want photos of their sons alongside me- ah well. One young lad even got up to dance with me and was great- so cute when he came up later to shake my hand and say thank you!

Get home and find my bowab in an incrediably good mood and he even carried my bag for me (doesn't normally!!!) maybe of course (the cynic comes out here) he was expecting the 'wedding gift' he got from me, for his daughter, on the way to the lift!

.........and so to a cold shower- and a huge bowl of pasta (gotta keep that 'moza' thing going!!!!!)

so a good end to a mood swing of a day in the life of Lorna..................... don't worry- I won't do this full diary except everyday- just wanted to give you a flavour of my life here!

oh- and something from yesterday too......... I was leaving a pool and in the hotel lobby a group of gulfies walked past (huge family 2 men, about 6 women and god knows how many kids) then they sent back a small girl who was with them, to ask- 'are you the dancer we saw on the boat?' my first sign of being famous!!!!!!!( small steps but hey!!)!!!!!!!! (unfortuantly I was too stunned to think of the arabic to reply so I just nodded and smiled... not sure what she asked next!!!)

and so to bed........